7 Warning Signs That You’re A Crazy Dog Person

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1.  When you look at your dog’s face, you want to cover it in kisses.

 And you tell your boss this. And your boss hates dogs.

2.  You sing songs to your dog

E.g. “How much is that doggy in the window?”.  And you teach your dog to bark back, so you can do a cute ‘doggy duet’.  Your friends do not think this is cute. Especially because your dog just sits there, whilst you’re like “I SWEAR! Last time, he was singing back to me and dancing! Are you kidding me, he can do the friggin moonwalk! Hang on, just let me try again…”

3.  You talk to your dog when you walk it.

 And not ‘Charlie, heel’,  but ‘Charlie, you’re a good boy! Are you a good boy? Yes, you are!! Charlie, what’s that? Is that a bird? Wooooh! It’s a bird, are you excited?’  Your neighbours think you’re strange, but pleasant enough.

4.  You teach your dog to walk on your back…

So you can get a doggy massage.

5. You buy a $100 Mason Pearson brush…

So you can brush your golden retriever’s hair.  Meanwhile your own hair has not seen a brush in years.

6.  You say strange things to your husband and he doesn’t bat an eye-lid:

Like, ‘Can you get the scissors, I have to cut the poo off Hannah’s bum-hairs’  (I can tell you, that’s a major mood-killer :)).   And ‘Can you please buy some Oil of Olay, Hannah’s paws are a little dry.’  And, the always-charming, ‘why can’t you be more like a dog’.

7.  When people ask you what you’d save if your house was burning…

 You say “Charlie’s collar from when he was a puppy. Oh, and our wedding pictures.”

Are you a crazy dog person? What sort of things do you do that make people roll their eyes?

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4 thoughts on “7 Warning Signs That You’re A Crazy Dog Person

  1. wagurtail says:

    Also,
    – When your camera contains more photos of diva-dog then diva kids or ‘wish-he-could-be-a-diva’ husband
    – When you start off a conversation with,”OMG, diva-dog is, I SWEAR, the smartest dog alive!!”
    – When it is your husband’s birthday and you come home with a pink (because it is poochy’s favorite color) soft toy. Dog gift – 1, husband’s b’day gift – 0
    – When you are late for work because it drizzled in the morning and you just HAD to squeeze that 30 min walk in because diva-dog loves morning walks
    – When your husband surprises you with a week long vacation in Phuket and outwardly you are delighted but secretly you are crying “but Chloe can’t come along :(”
    – Spending 10 grand decking your whole back yard so diva-dog won’t get muddy paws..
    I AM SICK AND I NEED HELP!!!

  2. OMG LOL!!! This is SOO me. Now I don’t feel so alone in my craziness. Thank you 🙂 Especially identify with ‘the week long vacation in Phuket’ that deep down, you don’t really wanna go to because dogs can’t come. Or the ‘dog gift’ hahaha.

  3. ha ha…that sounded funny! 🙂

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